Stephanie T. Jenal, Ph.D.
Duke Employee Assistance Program
Looking for a more satisfying life, including the ability to adjust to change
with greater flexibility and resilience? How about responding to stress with
increased confidence, creativity, happiness, and, more than likely, better health?
Runners, as well as people who meditate on a regular basis, often seem to enjoy
satisfying, relatively “de-stressed” lives. Their secret? According to William
Glasser, psychiatrist and author noted for “reality therapy” and “choice therapy”,
these folks share a “positive addiction” to healthy patterns which promote calm and
an inner sense of well-being. In contrast to addictive behaviors like substance
abuse, gambling, and overeating, which create a weak, disempowered state and ultimately destroy lives, “positive” addictions help people create and sustain a physically and emotionally resourceful state. From this vantage point individuals are able to bring flexibility, resilience, confidence, creativity, and health into their lives. Understanding the Power of Positive Addictions
Although people may not initially realize it, during times of physical and/or emotional distress they may be making decisions which seem reasonable in the short term but ultimately sabotage them in the long run. People may go to great lengths to avoid facing problems head on. For example, taking solace in alcohol or chocolate may feel good at the time but can create other challenges in the future. Avoiding confrontation with a difficult co-worker may be more comfortable in the moment but doesn’t resolve the problem of meeting the company deadline. And who among us has not complained of the lack of time to prepare healthy foods or incorporate regular exercise into our lives? Unfortunately, engaging in unhealthy behaviors or taking the easy way out, even though it might seem faster or less stressful, often leads to problems, whether in the form of unwanted pounds or interpersonal choices that we later regret. Transforming our choices into healthy behaviors enables us to experience a physically and emotionally resourceful state which positions us to bring greater health into our lives. Accomplishing this transformation requires two basic steps:- focusing on loving others and receiving love in return, and
- spending our time engaged in activities we believe to be worthwhile.
Incorporating Positive Behaviors into your Lifestyle
Positive addictions engage our
mental and/or physical abilities. Often,
they utilize both. These enriching activities may include pursuits such as the
following: ballet, bicycling, bird watching, chanting, gardening, hiking, meditation, practicing a musical instrument, running, sewing, swimming, walking, weight lifting, and yoga. Whatever activity best suits you is a potential candidate as long as it meets Glasser’s six criteria:
- it is a noncompetitive pursuit which you can enjoy for about one hour each day;
- you can do it easily without feeling the need for a lot of mental effort to do it “well”;
- you can do it alone;
- you believe that the activity offers some physical, mental, or spiritual value for you;
- you believe that if you persist at the activity you will improve your sense of physical and/or psychological well-being; and
- you can engage in the activity without summoning your inner critic to criticize your performance.
Accentuating the Positive: A Choice for a Lifetime
Pursuing such positively addicting activities essentially means transforming your choices and consequently, your behaviors, from short-sighted, desperation responses, to personally enriching, healthy patterns that will provide you with additional resources to address the fluctuations and challenges present throughout your lifespan. Like all change, such a metamorphosis is not easy. Glasser encourages individuals to count on a minimum of 6 months of consistent practice, one hour each day for 5 days a week. Initially that formula may sound overwhelming. Your day is already overcrowded; where are you going to find the time and energy to focus on such self-enriching practices? Remember the principle of investing for retirement. Heeding the advice of your financial planner, you set aside a percentage of your salary now, cognizant that at a later date the money you saved will pay off in substantial dividends. Making positive physical and psychological choices is tantamount to the same thing. By choosing to make decisions that invest in your personal love and self-worth portfolio, you will reap the benefits, not simply in the present moment, but throughout your life in the form of more satisfying relationships and an increased sense of personal purpose and meaning.
It is also important to remember that these practices may
take numerous, highly diverse forms, as long as they meet the six criteria.
Overdoing it, based on the principle that if some is good, more is better, is
not the plan and could, in fact, be detrimental. Glasser’s goal is to help you
achieve balance in your life, as well as a sense of personal control, mastery,
and inner peace. Those who have incorporated these principles into their lives
have discovered within themselves the resources for making deliberate, effective
choices which lead to a meaningful, happy existence. Think about it. Loving,
being loved, and feeling that the contribution we are making with our lives matters:
isn’t that what it’s all about, anyway?
To read more about this topic, consider the following books . . .
Herbert Benson, The Relaxation Response
William Glasser, Positive Addiction
Ian MacNeill, The Beginning Runner’s Handbook
Images used in this article are from arttoday.com
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Duke Occupational Mental Health ProgramsDuke Employee Assistance Program, a component of Duke OMHP
Division of Occupational and Environmental Medicine
Department of Community and Family Medicine